Hey, aren’t you Augie’s kid?
And I would say yes, and make a mental note
Of who said hi with last names to throw around
At the next family gathering — “oh dad,
I don’t know who these people are
but they shook my hand and asked me where you were.”

So where’s your dad? Well, is he coming?
Like I know — It’s Emmanuel’s turn to watch him this weekend,
but I smiled an “I don’t know” and scanned my memory
For when I’ve met this him or her before
and drawing blanks.
Boy, have I shoes to fill — involuntary reputation of social coolness
Fairly awesome smiling man that isn’t me.

How’s your dad? Super, thanks for asking — here’s my guest list
Last name first — my memory is shot so write it down.
Legibly.
And stabbed him with my pen with another five or twenty others
In a fit of identity crisis call for help.
Well the cops came,
Reporters came,
and the Eleven O’Clock news had my face and name.
Mission Complete!
That guy on T.V. — isn’t that Augie’s kid?

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a “Unix Port”
Aboard a sinking ship.

The mate was a mighty selling man
The skipper wasn’t sure
Six passengers sat sail back then
For a legal language tour (a legal language tour)

The language started getting rough
The chrysler case was tossed (almost)
If not for the “courage” of the fearless crew
The lawsuits would be lost (the lawsuits would be lost)

The ship held ground on the shore of this
Old Mormon Desert Isle
With Billy Gates
And Ballmer too
Some millionaire
Named McBride
A Courtroom Star
McNealy and Canadians
Here on Darl McBride’s Isle