For years and years this time of year
I hear a “hey, so whatcha giving up for lent?”
and I’d stand there silently without an answer,
then I turn the question around only to find
a litany of little crucifixes in the guise
of chips, soda, and fast food joints
given up in honor of my crucified Christ.

Later in my catholicynicism I came prepared
with canned replies, swearing never to be ambushed
by the “hey, so whatcha giving up for lent?”
The reply was a well-rehearsed “meat on Fridays”
which often landed me strange glaring looks
then “drugs and alcohol” knowing I can’t give up
what I don’t do but it sure sounds like I’m trying
harder than the asshat who gave up cheetos for forty days.
Then there was the ever-confusing reply — “Catholicism”
said in jest to mock the sacrifices made
by choosing what one could ingest
and call Lent what it really is –
the return of Lobsterfest.

But I can see it — somewhere in all of this
is a reminder to take up one’s cross and
die a little everytime one denies himself
the chance to gorge upon a favorite food.
Even my Lord went hungry in the desert and I bet
he would have made great bread out of those stones
but he emphatically declined. I bet he made
an awesome fish sandwich for his friends, though.
So here’s to you, Big J — Christmas was A New Hope
Lent is when The Empire Strikes Back and
Easter is the Return of the Jedi.
Hard times ahead, man, hard times –
but the party at the end is going to ROCK!

So there’s that new twist to it — a new question
replacing the obnoxious “hey, whatcha giving up for lent?”
that goes “hey, whatcha bringing to THE Easter potluck?”
I’m sure we’ll have lots of chips and soda.
I’m sure we’ll have our choice of meats.
Probably not a lot of vegetables though.
Tell Pete and the boys to get the boat ready
’cause I don’t think anybody is bringing seafood and
when it comes to food, all I hear about you is bread and fish
so I’m expecting to get in line for a fish sandwich.
As for me? I wouldn’t want to miss it.
Put me down for rice.