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Archive for June, 2010

The Garden [RTS] Update

Posted by Allan in Prose, The Garden [RTS] on June 17, 2010 10:15 pm

The troops have gained strength. Perhaps they have gained too much strength. The Garden is quickly transforming into a jungle with tomato vines growing defiantly out of control and zucchini leaves at the end of hollow stems stretching out beyond their barracks.

The General was faced with the classic philosophical question posed upon any virtuous leader: Which is better, to be loved or feared? As Machiavelli once wrote, while being both would be most desirable, if one must choose, the virtuous leader should choose being feared.

With the aid of pruning shears, the benevolent General attempted to strike a balance between discipline and harm. At times, young fruits had been lost and vines had been bent. While the General grieved each loss, he understood that ultimate success demanded that order and discipline be maintained.

Since the season started, a total of five zucchini have been harvested. A larger number had died before their time. Tomatoes have not yet ripened, but are ever so slowly changing color as the days go by. Basil had been aggressively pruned, yielding a large jar of a potable potion vaguely resembling pesto. Though delighted at the harvest, the General wished he invested more skill points into potion mastery.

Having unexpectedly gained skill points in necromancy, the General’s undead troops from season one continued to display growth. Season one’s tomato actually required a well-placed stake to encourage proper behavior. Although the first bell pepper fruit never did grow to maturity, the plant seems to continue producing flowers.

Six spicy but currently unidentified peppers have joined the ranks in The Garden. They came as a team with different personalities and a group photo for an ID. A few have shown fruit, but not enough to properly identify them from the photograph.

Helios has continued to gain strength while Gaia weakens. Though both situations were anticipated, the General was surprised by the number of times he has had to cast Poseidon’s Aid to combat the increased effects of Solar Gaze.

At this time, The Garden is green. The troops are filled with potential and zeal. Harvest seems closer. The General is cautiously hopeful.

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Dungeons and Dragons Online N00B Headphone Chatter

Posted by Allan in Games, Prose on June 12, 2010 12:41 pm

Real conversation snippets from D&D Online…

“Damn it, my staff is broken!”
“uh huh huh…you broke your staff.”

“I’ll get to try out my new sword. You know, this is the only place you can say that and have it be socially acceptable.”

“Alright, undead! I can control undead! Wait, what? Where the hell do I find an eyelash in gum Arabic? Awww crap.”

“I think I found the guy we’re supposed to kill.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“Watch out, I’m already dead.”
“Oh…me too. Yeah, it’s a level four quest and we’re level three.”
“Ok, well that explains that.”

“Have you seen my dog? Did it follow us through the door?”
“No, I think he’s gone.”
“Damn it, Snoop. Meh, I’ll make a new one.”

“Did you just revive me? How the hell do you do that?”
“I have no idea.”

“Wolves up ahead.”
“Go get ‘em, Snoop! Uh huh huh, dog on dog action.”
“Bitch fight!”

“Nope, I didn’t find anything.”
“Secret door right in front of you.”
“Stupid elf and your search skills.”

“Ahh, spider on my keyboard…in real life. Hold on a sec.”

(on being poisoned by a spider)
“Hey you’ve got the Ultimate Warrior logo on top of your head!”

“How many potions do you have left?”
“I’ve got 10, but as a wizard with a drinking problem, that’ll go by fast.”

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