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Lagumbay.com Reflections on Love, Rage, and Fear

Archive for January, 2011

Dear Mr. Negativitron: (A LittleBigPlanet 2 Review)

Posted by Allan in Games, Prose on January 24, 2011 7:59 pm

Dear Mr. Negativitron,

I find this whole thing kind of strange. I haven’t really met you as we haven’t finished Story Mode yet. I have seen your type of destruction, though and I must tell you that I’m usually on your side when it comes to gaming. My PS3 collection is composed mostly of fighters, first person shooters, the Grand Theft Auto series, a couple of Fallout games, Demon’s Souls, and the God of War trilogy. So you see, Mr. Negativitron, I tend to lean towards games with dark, often violent stories. If someone built a castle made of cupcakes, I’d want to destroy it too. If someone built a legion of cute little robots, I’d try to subvert them as well. Sack puppets? Incinerator.

Honestly, I think I “get” you. I don’t even really LIKE “The Alliance.” Larry Da Vinci is an old lovestruck inventor type too cheery for my liking. Victoria Von Bathosphere is an obsessive-compulsive baker. Clive Handforth is a depressive who doesn’t really even try anymore. Avalon Centrifuge is an annoying egomaniac. Eve Paragorica is much too bossy. Higginbotham is just way too out of it to make any sense. So yeah, I absolutely understand why you feel the need to destroy them along with play-create-share-ri-la or whatever it is I’m supposed to be trying to save. If I had my choice, I’d pack up, wake up into reality, and let Sackville get sacked.

Here’s the problem, though. My wife and I played through the first LittleBigPlanet and we loved it. I couldn’t really tell you what the story was about — I think it was about some guy who wanted to blow things up because he didn’t have any friends. It wasn’t the shallow storyline that made us love the game. It wasn’t even the great graphics that did it either. We loved it because we had FUN playing the game. It was about figuring out puzzles together, platforming, doing the co-op bits for extra stickers and costumes. It was about facing challenges, almost giving up, but eventually succeeding.

So here we are, in LittleBigPlanet 2 where the gameplay has changed for the better. Not only do we run, jump, and swing — we have new equipment to play with! There’s a grappling hook which when used in combination with the new bounce-pads are a lot of fun, a grabinator for throwing stuff (including other players!), a creatinator that shoots bombs, pastry or water, depending on the level. There are animals that we can ride which transforms a platformer into an overhead racing game, a side-scroller, and even a rail-based shooter. The wife and I play LBP2 and we have a LOT of fun.

Mr. Negativitron, I don’t necessarily think you’re such a horrible person and in any other circumstance, you and I may have even hung out together. However, it seems that you and I will have to meet at the end of this particular story, and we plan on finishing that level, whenever that time comes. Just remember that in the end, it wasn’t about you. It wasn’t even about the story. It was just a chain of wonderful experiences filled with awe, laughter, celebrated triumphs, and one controller thrown down in frustration. As they say about the real world, “it is about the journey, not the destination.” It’s a great journey, a great sequel, and Mr. Negativitron, you just happen to be part of it.

That said, I also understand that my character is not named Niko Bellic, Kratos, nor Bruce Wayne, and the LBP universe probably does not have a sad ending in it. I suspect you’re another misunderstood character that we will all befriend and have cake with. In any case, I’m sure we’d enjoy that, too.

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Curse: The Playstation 3 Controller

Posted by Allan in Prose, Tome of Curses on January 17, 2011 9:09 am

Great Microbeasts, courier of thoughts into the Digital Realm, you continue to grant me your favor. Together we have banished many evils from this other world. Together we defeated Zeus. Together we helped bring rulers of both the Helghan and the Mishima Empire to justice. Together we reunited a young man, however briefly, with his long lost father in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. You and I are one. O Microbeasts, I beseech you to come forth into this realm and make arthritic the tiny hands that created the Playstation 3 Dual Shock controller which malfunctioned in the middle of my Indy 500 run in Gran Turismo 5. May their hands fumble with the tiny screws, may they be unsteady in soldering the delicate red and black wire connections to the rumble motors that were so quick to snap. May they be unable to secure the small sponge bar that cushions the contacts. May the rubber nubs that act as springs slip out of place as they try to assemble the well-engineered-if-you-didn’t-have-to-open-it controller. Most of all, O Microbeasts, courier of my thoughts, send them this message: To the worst offenders, whoever designed the way the trigger buttons are seated — R1, R2, L1 and 2…F U. May all that they build in their lives fall apart at the final step causing them to start over again and again. May they recognize this Sisyphus-like predicament and opt instead to die as Lord Kratos died, unleashing hope unto mankind.

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OMGLOL!!!11111Eleven!

Posted by Allan in Prose on January 11, 2011 2:24 am

“Well they say your life was marked
And you were wondering if it would ever start
Stop”,

— Better Than Ezra, “Hollow”

Hey old-timer, are you keeping up with the prune juice like they said you should? Wait, ok, let me start from the beginning here since the subject and the last few lines are probably confusing to you. The OMGLOL!!!11111Eleven! stands for “Oh My God Laughing Out Loud!!!” and since the ! and 1 are on the same key, overly enthusiastic kids these days end up accidentally adding those extra characters. The “Eleven!” part was there to emphasise how ridiculous the practice is.

The next few lines are a quote from a band called “Better Than Ezra” — probably something that’s much too loud for your liking but since old age comes hearing loss, maybe they would be the proper volume for you by now. Either way, it’s probably worth a listen.

I’ll spare the “remember when” sentiments because for now, it’s probably best to look forward. As Tom Waits wrote in the song “Time”, though, “the things you can’t remember tell the things you can’t forget that history puts a saint in every dream.”

Just have to keep your feet moving…your slap shot still sucks.

Happy Birthday, E.

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Protected: Footage from Arizona

Posted by Allan in Videos on January 2, 2011 6:24 pm

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