Bald Brute Babysitters Bureau

In a surprisingly uncharacteristic twist in God of War III, Kratos had to practically attend PTA meetings for Pandora. Now from everything I’ve read about the upcoming Hitman: Absolution, it appears that Agent 47 agrees to moonlight as a babysitter. What a bunch of sweet guys these two iconic merciless killers turned out to be!

That said, I’ve already played the heck out of the Sniper Challenge pre-order exclusive and unlocked everything I could with it. I’ve already wondered about the seemingly unpredictable AI (how far and where do they walk to investigate a sound?), missing motionless targets clearly in the crosshairs, and questionably getting awarded “Silent Assassin” after shooting the last guard in front of a partying crowd. Even with all those concerns, I’m looking forward to seeing what 47 has in store. Hopefully he’ll have a few more dance moves this time around to accompany his softened image.

Hey, there’s a listing for a B. Kibbutz offering childcare services for the genetically different on!