Yo soy Don Ricardo de Clan Vejar
Anyone try to battle, te va a pagar.
Nacho, think you’re all hard when you’re stepping forth
what, now you’re like Tacho Into the Beautiful North
but ain’t nothin wrong with your rainbow connection
you just gotta quit with this land grab obsession
I’ve got a verbal gun to your head just waiting for the beat to stop
so I can pull the damn trigger and watch Iggy Pop.
Cállate Ricky, you got some splainin to do
Tischler showed me your tab, that’s a big IOU
I’ll take you up to the hills, you broke-ass Vejar
you’ll disappear from The View like your name was Joy Behar
Let’s see, there’s Santa, the Chupacabra, and the tooth fairy
Your legacy’s just like them, man, purely imaginary.
My house is historical. My name is on a cemetery.
Your rhymes are simply comical and sick like dysentery.
How are you gonna scare me with your clumsy words,
your name literally translates to a house for birds.
Your verse is perverse and I don’t fear your wrath
You’re name’s on a school where the kids suck at math.
You’ve got yourself a cemetery, that’s worth walking tall?
Let’s see how famous you are when they turn your tomb into a strip mall
We don’t have much time so let me put this to bed
We were the Dons of San Jose, you’re just the Don of the Dead
D.R.V. you so gangsta, I almost feel bad though
’cause when they ask where you from, you have to say San Diego
and seriously, man, how are you even in this battle
you’ve lost your home, your land, and all of your cattle.
Like that one guy in Upland, you’re like “where’s the beef?”
We were friends a long time, now you’re comic relief.
It took me a while but I just got why you called me Nacho
here’s a couple of bucks, go get some at Del Taco.
“That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane…”
— REM, “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Science makes predictions. If I drop my mouse from my table, it should fall down. I can test this prediction (and occasionally do — absolutely intentionally, of course) to satisfy my curiosity. Knowledge of, nor faith in gravity is not a requirement for my mouse to fall. This is not a Bugs Bunny cartoon. My dedication to the continuous advancement of science often demands that I test this prediction constantly, and sometimes in the most inconvenient ways. Does an egg obey the law of gravity when I intentionally let it slip from my hand as I take the experimental mass from the fridge? Does lip balm fall from my pocket as I take a pen out? Will a hard drive hover in mid-air after dropping it? Unfortunately not.
Having said this, a religious organisation has made a prediction that the world would end today. 6pm on the hour, every hour as each time zone hits that time. Earthquakes, zombies, the gullibles being beamed up into another dimension. You know, the works. The great thing about this is that the same group had predicted the same event back in the mid-90’s and they were wrong then. From the newscast today, it looks like they’re wrong again.
I won’t go into the “problems and the hows and whys” of such thought and blind faith here, but instead present an odd sense of admiration for this religious organisation. They had the courage and conviction to proclaim loudly — “This is what we believe, and this is important. This is our testable prediction!” Not too many religious groups out there doing that.
If we are to be consistent in this scientific study, we evaluate this theory using the observable experiment we have been presented. If the prediction fails, the theory is incorrect. We move on. The world did not end, there are no zombies walking around, the gullibles are still here. Will they re-evaluate their theory? That is a psychological experiment…and I predict the answer is “no.”
At any rate, I’ve had the roast beef sandwich at the Cafe At The End Of The Universe, and it was good.
The world is a vampire, sent to drain
secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
and what do I get, for my pain
betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
— “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” (The Smashing Pumpkins)
Happy Mothra’s Day, everyone! I haven’t seen any of the Godzilla movies but I guess that particular subculture had gained enough influence to make Mothra’s Day a mainstream holiday. I was a bit puzzled at first by the gifts exchanged on Mothra’s Day but after realizing that the connection was so obvious, I almost feel ashamed to point it out here. We exchange flowers and sweets because butterflies are naturally attracted to them. It is our way of honoring Mothra.
Some may say that I have the holiday confused with something they insist is called “Mothers’ Day” and I did give the notion some minor consideration. Looking at the Wikipedia entry for Mothra, I was able to see where the confusion came from.
Wikipedia states that Mothra “is almost always portrayed as a kind and benevolent creature, causing destruction only when acting as protector to her worshipers on Infant Island or to her egg, or as collateral damage while protecting Earth from a greater threat.”
Wikipedia also claims that “Mothra has proven a formidable adversary in combat: in larval form she may use her silken spray to wrap and immobilize an opponent, and has a knack for biting and clinging to foes’ tails. In imago form her powers vary widely from film to film, including very animalistic scratching and dragging, incorporating several bolt and beam weapons in the Heisei era, and often concluding with a poisonous yellow powder (or “scales”) -her last defense.
Mothra is one of the most powerful psychics in the Toho universe. She has had the ability to use this power benevolently, to communicate with humans, or aggressively, to destroy her enemies.” (From Wikipedia entry on Mothra)
Though it may be confusing, be assured that the holiday IS called Mothra’s Day. Any similarities between the formidably protective, poison-spewing, benevolent psychic female authority figure and Mothra are strictly coincidental.