Having been entertained by Tonner’s recitation of prose and verse, the children departed to enjoy the cool ocean breeze brought in from the coast over by the orange groves. When they arrived, they found an old
lady in her early thirties along with her dog sitting underneath a tree, reading a book. As little boys often do, they picked up small oranges that had fallen from the trees and started to throw them at the old woman and her dog much to her annoyance.

When one orange struck her in the head, she stood up, slowly enough to make sure the boys did not run away. She pointed at them with her finger, hand shaking from age, and with a loud, shrill voice, she yelled
“You who dare disturb the tranquility of these grounds, the best place I have found in all of Pomona to read a book in peace and enjoy the pleasant winds on a summer afternoon…YOU — may you and the generations after you find the same peace, and find the same cool ocean breeze on this ground…but NEVER at the same time.”

As she sat back down to read, the cool breeze ceased and the boys had to walk a long distance away to find a cool spot to relax. As they turned back, the old lady and her dog had disappeared.

“Tang Na Mo! Tang Na Mo!” They watched him suffer then
and so in turn, he watches over the suffering of men.
“Tang Na Mo! Tang Na Mo!” Haven’t we suffered long enough?
Two thousand years of sorrow just seems a little rough.

Do you really sit there watching everyone you know die
or are they all believers in a poorly fabricated lie?
I’m hell-bound for the acts I failed to do and things I cannot know.
Get off your ass and help us out. Until then, Tang Na Mo.

There’s a place by the seas
where the people dream of peace
rather than one whole world that kills each other.
Take a knife, go outside
there’s no place that they can hide,
kill them all and forget that they’re your brothers.
There are people dying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Save a lot of space…kill the human race.

Kill the world — make it a better place
for you and for me and the anti-human race.
There are people dying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Make a better place for you and for me.

Need a change of the pace?
Send a killer to this place.
Bring them all, we’ll have fun in here together.
Kill for love, kill for hate,
we shall blame their deaths on fate.
Kill the world with a soul light as a feather.
Now the world is crying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Make a better place…kill the human race.

Kill my friend, I’ll kill yours.
Kill them all with brutal force.
Destroy all who oppose the main objective.
Take a knife, bring a gun,
then together we’ll have fun.
Kill for death, claim destruction as your motive.
We’ve had people frying,
you can go ahead burn the living.
‘Til there’s not a trace…
kill the human race.

For those who are not aware of what Tang ‘Na is all about, here’s a link from the archives:

The Seven Days of Tang ‘Na

Dati po, noong ako’y bata
lagi akong tumutula
at naglalaro sa labas pag walang magawa.
Kahit ano’y sinusunog
pag nakahanap ako ng kandila.

Shato, piko, patintero
ang nagsira ng tsinelas ko
iyon po ang aking naging ehersisyo.
Unti unting tumataba
wala kasing ginagawa kundi nintendo.

Hindi na nagbabasketbol,
Si MacGyver ang naging idol
Nakagawa ako ng aking palakol.
Minahal ko rin ang berdeng ilaw
ng aking computer na apol.

Ngayon namang malaki na ko
wala pa ring nagbabago
ulol, tungak, tanga, saka gago.
At ang nanay at tatay ko’y
hindi alam kung bakit ako’y ganito.

Ang aking kanta’y pakinggan
may taong di matutulungan
dahil puno ng katarantaduhan
dinggin mo ang aking payo
ang mga katulad ko’y dapat ilagan
ang mga katulad ko’y dapat ilagan
ang mga katulad ko’y dapat ilagan…

After much deliberation, the tradition came alive through caffeine-induced inspiration. It spoke to me in a soft, subtle voice with an accent undeniably Filipino. It told me the brilliance in the symbolism of its seven days. It spoke of the gifts to be exchanged in its name. The new tradition needed a good name — something ethnic-sounding, exotic yet catchy, and distinctly Filipino. As I sat there listening and writing the concepts for this new celebration, the voice grew stronger and louder, and in an ultimate epiphany, it revealed its name. What follows is the seven day celebration of Tang ‘Na.

On the first day of Tang ‘Na, people are to give gifts of toiletries or perfumes. With a smile, the gift-giver invokes a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang kabahuan mo!” to which the recipient responds with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the second day of Tang ‘Na, people are to give gifts of oversized clothing. With a smile, the gift-giver invokes a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang katakawan mo!” to which the recipient responds with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the third day of Tang ‘Na, people are to give gifts of educational textbooks. With a smile, the gift-giver invokes a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang kabobohan mo!” to which the recipient responds with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the fourth day of Tang ‘Na, people are not to give each other gifts. With a smile, both parties invoke a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang karamutan mo!” and respond with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the fifth day of Tang ‘Na, people are to give each other a joke or gag gift. With a smile, the gift-giver invokes a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang kagaguhan mo!” to which the recipient responds with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the sixth day of Tang ‘Na, people are to give gifts of hand-crafted paper crowns. With a smile, the gift-giver invokes a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang kayabangan mo!” to which the recipient responds with “Tang ‘na mo.”

On the seventh day of Tang ‘Na, people are to gather together and have a sit-down dinner with each other. With a smile, both parties invoke a declaration in the native Tagalog: “Tang ‘nang kaibigan ko. Hapi nyu yir, ha!”

Socially, the Filipino culture could be summarized as a game of Poker and Politics. Poker faces, alterior motives, and uncommunicated thoughts are all too common. One is never to tip their hand lest they be deemed blunt or harsh. The Politics side mandates that public image is extremely important, thus a member of the culture normally avoids actions that may result in negative publicity.

In terms of language, most Filipinos speak a hybrid of Tagalog and English they call “Taglish.” However, most can communicate fluently in English if not for an accent that often substitutes the letter f for p and v for b and vice bersa. It is also common to mess up on fronouns and frefositions. You may wish to learn a few tagalog fhrases if you freper.

A culture is not complete without its own foods. The Filipino cuisine has influences from many of the countries that shared, occupied, or invaded its land. Outsiders who comment on how some Filipino food is “gross” should understand that every culture has its share of exotic foods. If one finds a particular dish sickening, then the best advice would be to not eat it, not to smell it, not to look at it, and be open minded enough to know that there may very well be dishes in YOUR culture that some Filipinos would not eat. That said, the author’s personal recommendations are lumpia, adobo, menudo (no, it’s not the same thing), and for those who live la vida loca, Kare-Kare. Oh yeah, there’s some rice involved in the Filipino diet, too.

The world of Filipino Entertainment is not a very exciting one. In terms of music, the genres are predominantly pop and oldies. As for movies, don’t ask. Filipino movies are mostly plotless hacks about orphans or adopted children. Broad generalization, yes, but so are the movies. Then there is gambling in its many forms. Mah-jong, cards, and horses, to name a few. As one strolls down a casino, if “gaddamit ah chit!” is heard, a Filipino is nearby. Lastly, Filipinos also seem to be drawn to karaoke like moths to a flame with varying results.

How to Become an Honorary Flip:

Filipinos are generally known for their hospitality. They will gladly take you in provided you follow a few simple rules. The first rule would be to respect the culture (unlike what I have done here). Play the “poker and politics” game to perfection. The second rule is to associate with the culture. Eat some Filipino food and learn a few phrases in Tagalog. The final rule is closely tied to the other rules — make them laugh. If you keep these observations and rules in mind, you just might be a Filipino at heart.