Posts Categorized: Games

Dungeons and Dragons Online Vignette — Eveningstar Redux

My brother sent me an mp3 of something he composed with filename “Pizzicato Waltz 01″ as a birthday present and my immediate thought was what would ElTechno do with this? Heck, what would ANY Drow necromancer enjoy doing in ungrateful Drow-hating Eveningstar? Here you go:

Dungeons and Dragons Online Vignette — Avast Conspiracy

This was my last stop before Eveningstar. This also marked the last time I travel via the Phiarlan Carnival Cruise Line. While I did pick up some nice armor and lovely cutlery here, I ended up finding better gear when I got to the Forgotten Realms. As the ship was slowly being towed to a port in Alabama, I leisurely started reanimating the food (a nod to the “Delirium” quest) and amidst the ensuing chaos, teleported the heck out of there. Some stranded people have no sense of humor.

Dungeons and Dragons Online Vignette — Eveningstar

I had just about gotten used to the strange looks I got every time I walked into a new town.  The glowing red eyes, the maniacal grin, and the occasional aura of death I drag around while in lich form tend to draw the eyes of those who had never seen a wizard Pale Master before.  I was ok with that.  The town of Eveningstar, however, gave me the stink-eye for a very different reason: because I am of the Drow Elf race.

While it may sound like a hilarious scene from “Blazing Saddles,” the anti-Drow sentiment around town made me very uncomfortable.  Everywhere I went there was at least one knight following me around as if I were about to pillage the whole place.  All the NPCs seemed to have something disparaging to say about my race.  Even Elminster, the town cuckoo had a few bad things to say about the Drow.

Begrudgingly, I took a few quests in order to win the townsfolk’s trust.  A few yards from town, at the King’s Forest, I began to understand where the negative attitude came from: two Drow archers mugged me.  It was your classic Drow-on-Drow crime, except in Lich form, I happened to have a tremendous advantage.  Two dead Drow archers later, I immediately thought about pleading self-defense or some Eveningstar equivalent of the Stand-Your-Ground law.  I went back to town to turn myself in and the gatekeeper asked me how many I had killed.  After confessing to killing two, the guard smiled and said “you get a prize at ten.”  What the hell was that about?

After turning in a few piles of Drow bodies for experience points, that strange conscience thing kicked in again.  It came at around the same time I discovered that the Drow had enslaved a few of the villagers using mind-control collars to bend their will.  See, I have a very strict policy about these things.  Hirelings, yes.  Slaves, no.  Thus I went all Abraham Lincoln on those Drow Slavers…that is if Lincoln was Death incarnate and was a pretty good shot with necrotic rays.

The collars were relatively simple and I noticed quickly that I had enough skill to disarm them once the slavers were dispatched.  I recognized a couple of the slaves as townsfolk that had thrown rotten produce at me earlier in the week.  Their collars unfortunately malfunctioned as I was disarming them.

The latest quest I’ve been given involves infiltrating an underground Drow town.  The War Wizard that gave the quest said he cast a spell that activates at the appropriate time in order make adventurers “look Drow.”  Going Drow-face in this day and age, really?

Perhaps someday when the worlds have gotten past their ignorance and bigotry, we could have a Drow president.  Of course they’ll start unfounded rumors that he or she was actually born in Eberron.

Bald Brute Babysitters Bureau

In a surprisingly uncharacteristic twist in God of War III, Kratos had to practically attend PTA meetings for Pandora. Now from everything I’ve read about the upcoming Hitman: Absolution, it appears that Agent 47 agrees to moonlight as a babysitter. What a bunch of sweet guys these two iconic merciless killers turned out to be!

That said, I’ve already played the heck out of the Sniper Challenge pre-order exclusive and unlocked everything I could with it. I’ve already wondered about the seemingly unpredictable AI (how far and where do they walk to investigate a sound?), missing motionless targets clearly in the crosshairs, and questionably getting awarded “Silent Assassin” after shooting the last guard in front of a partying crowd. Even with all those concerns, I’m looking forward to seeing what 47 has in store. Hopefully he’ll have a few more dance moves this time around to accompany his softened image.

Hey, there’s a listing for a B. Kibbutz offering childcare services for the genetically different on craplist.net!