As I watched a few people emerge from their refurbished bunker into the light of the new millenium, I found a smile of amusement form on my lips. A couple of children shielded their eyes from the brilliance of the Sun, slowly regaining their clear vision of the world as they had seen it the day before. The parents stepped out, wary at first, eyes skyward in anticipation of nuclear fallout. One of the children, a four year old girl, tugged at her father’s pant leg and said “Daddy, did we miss the Second Coming of Christ?” I couldn’t help but chuckle. I did not break my silence, however. Though it is very tempting to poke fun at such over-reacting people, one must remember some very crucial reasons against condescending behavior. Such people are irrational, irritable, and more than likely, heavily armed.

Perhaps one day the discovery of a gullibility gene will shed light into why certain people seem to react overzealously to doomsday rumors. Until then, irrationality is the word to use. Many will argue against the notion, citing cautiousness as an excuse to stockpile food, water, and ammunition. Grin, but refuse to argue because no intellectual conversation will ensue. Whatever happens, do not make fun of their irrationality for it is that same trait that may lead to violence and great physical harm.

Irrationality alone may not incite violence. However, coupled with the obvious state of extreme irritability, hostility is almost certain. There are many reasons why Y2K over-reactors may become irritable. The mere fact that they had been proven wrong would cause a heavy drop in pride and thus embed a seed of anger. Financial situations arising from the purchase of stockpiled items may also contribute greatly to irritability. As if the previous two reasons were not enough, the mere thought of having SPAM on the dinner table for the next three months would irritate even the most mild-mannered bunker-owner. Thus it is best to keep clear of such people for they are upset enough on their own.

Lastly, and perhaps the most vital of all the reasons not to poke fun at the apocalyptic-minded would be the fact that they are heavily armed. Sure, they bought those shotgun shells for Armageddon but it is a great possibility that such irrational people would not hesitate to use some excess ammunition to wipe that grin off of a condescending face. Though a violent individual with a sub-machine gun or an Uzi is quite a sight to see up close, it is best to point and laugh from a safe distance. Of course discerning what a safe distance is would mean knowledge of the bunker-owner’s artillery. Because the person’s weaponry may range from a shotgun to missile launchers, range is more guesswork than logic. Thus it is best not to laugh lest one be greeted with a lifetime supply of the element once called plumbum.

As our friends emerge from their paranoia-induced seclusion, let us welcome them back to the rational world with open arms and share with them the hope that comes with the new millenium. Let us experience the joy of their company and partake in their three-month supply of Spam. Do not laugh at the apocalyptic-minded, do not mock them nor berate them. Instead, keep silent about their idiocy for they have already been through great trauma. If one cannot remain stoic, such a revelation of emotion may prove to be harmful if not lethal, for the Y2K paranoid are irrational, irritable, and more than likely, heavily armed.