Try to understand — all this hope was meant for me
How we suffered for your vanity, how I tried to set you free
You did not listen, you did not know how.  I’m afraid it’s too late now.

Dark and starless night, forger’s flames that brightly blaze
Fills the room in violet haze reflecting on the marble’s pallid hue
The past is changing you — on a field of amber grain
All your fear and all your pain are soothed by your beloved’s loving hand

Try to understand — all this hope was meant for me
How we suffered for your vanity, how I tried to set you free
You did not listen, you did not know how.  I’m afraid it’s too late now.

I always stood by you because your heart was true
And when only hope was left inside on that dark and starless night
You took your life as warriors sometimes do
But I could have told you, Kratos,
This world was never meant to have the hope you had in you.

Dark and starless night, statues stand in empty halls
Headless frames and heedless calls — a man whose sins relived with deep regret
All the souls that you had met — This vengeful god, this Spartan Ghost
Who could not wake their deep repose, could not erase the pain of long ago

I can never know what your eyes convey to me –
How Pandora offered clarity, how forgiveness set you free
All the gods are dead and the world is still –
There was one left to kill.

I heard about this Spartan,
his awesome fighting style
and so I picked up this game
to play it for a while
and there he was in combat
tearing a cyclops’ eye

He was this tortured reaver,
so lonely in a crowd
He shreds them all like lettuce
and yells his lines out loud.
His life bar they diminished
but he kept fighting on

His fate depended on me,
which fueled a deep despair.
His last fight was with some god
with orange-colored hair
and though he gained forgiveness
he knows he had done wrong

There’s a place by the seas
where the people dream of peace
rather than one whole world that kills each other.
Take a knife, go outside
there’s no place that they can hide,
kill them all and forget that they’re your brothers.
There are people dying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Save a lot of space…kill the human race.

Kill the world — make it a better place
for you and for me and the anti-human race.
There are people dying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Make a better place for you and for me.

Need a change of the pace?
Send a killer to this place.
Bring them all, we’ll have fun in here together.
Kill for love, kill for hate,
we shall blame their deaths on fate.
Kill the world with a soul light as a feather.
Now the world is crying;
If you care enough, kill the living.
Make a better place…kill the human race.

Kill my friend, I’ll kill yours.
Kill them all with brutal force.
Destroy all who oppose the main objective.
Take a knife, bring a gun,
then together we’ll have fun.
Kill for death, claim destruction as your motive.
We’ve had people frying,
you can go ahead burn the living.
‘Til there’s not a trace…
kill the human race.

They told you to hold it but you just had to go
You were in the bathroom just two minutes ago
Minding your own and doing fine
Syringe on your neck, your life on the line
Now they’ll need to carry you off

‘Cause you had a bad day
I’ve taken you down
You could’ve been fine but you just turned around
You say you don’t know
You tell me you’d lie
There’s a dumpster out here for your body to hide
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
I needed that tape, now you all have to die
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

You needed a Blues Bar holiday
You could have been spared but you got in my way
Now you won’t be carrying on

You had a bad day
You met the bald guy
You didn’t walk on, now you’re wondering why
You said it’s your yard
You told me to go
You’re buried in garbage, you inquisitive ho
You had a bad day
The padre don’t lie
You’re stuck on a lift in a place they won’t find
You had a bad day

Sometimes circuit breakers fail
and you just have to see what’s wrong
You might not make it back
but you thought that it would not take oh that long
Well you’re dead wrong

There is no compassion when you bother a clone
Oh what a guy
He’s not Mr. Clean so just leave him alone

Now you had a bad day
I’ve taken you down
You should’ve walked faster past the merry-go-round
Just say you don’t know
You could’ve just lied
And let me walk by like I had nothing to hide
You had a bad day
Not something you like
And how does it feel, fiberwire time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

I’d go for mexican
The drive-through was near
In search of some tacos
When I realized my fear.

But maybe if I tried real hard I’d
I see you’re trying too
To understand this meat
That we’re both struggling to chew.
(Then when she asked if I wanted mild or fire,
I didn’t know what to do!)

Sometimes I feel like I’m eating a dead horse
and I don’t know why you keep mowin’ them down.
I’d like to think that a buck’s worth a tad more.
It does taste funny and you’d think by now
You’d be stopping.
I guess you can keep the change
Keep the change.

This here ain’t a cow, boy –
A really twisted surprise
Is that Mr. Ed behind the door
’cause the smell’s disturbing the flies
I was only a small child
when their purpose came to me
that they’re good for some glue and exactas for you
but they’re not something you should eat.

I ain’t quite what you’d call old-fashioned
I prefer to eat steer
When my burrito ran track a few hundred times,
I guess the best advice is stay clear.

Dear Bill, I wrote but you still ain’t respondin’
I left e-mail, my URL, and my home IP at the bottom
I sent two bug reports last autumn — you must not a got ‘em
There probably was a problem with hotmail or somethin
Sometimes the packets take the scenic route when you route them
but anyhoo, fsck it, what’s been up? Man, how’s Ballmer?
Is he still a dancin’ foo, screamin’ “developer?”
If I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her –
I’ma name her Clippy.
I read about your XP SP2, I’m sorry.
I had a friend bork his box over some bitchy driver problem
I know you probably hear this everyday but I’m your biggest fan.
I even got Software Assurance that the zealots called a scam.
I got a room will all your certificates and manuals, man.
I like the stuff you did with Java, too, that stuff was phat!
Anyways, I hope you get this, man. Hit me back
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Dan.

Dear Bill, you still ain’t ack-ed my note. I hope you have a chance.
I ain’t mad — I just think it’s fscked up when the shizznit hit the fan.
If you didn’t want to fix the bugs through Trustworthy Computing
you didn’t have to, but you coulda posted a work-around for Matthew
That’s my kid bro, man, he’s only eight years old
Been a good boy, rebooted as he was told by you
for years and you just said “No.”
That’s pretty crappy, man, his drive was going idle.
He wanted to be just like you, man! Now he gets more porn than I do!
I ain’t that mad, though, I just don’t like bein lied to.
Remember when we met in Vegas? I said that I’d write you
And that I’ve always gots your back. See, man, patching is ok, in a way.
I wouldn’t have bothered either
But my mom’s machine got hosed and she’s not a control-alt-deleter.
I can’t relate when people say you’re doing wrong
So when I have a crappy day, I flame away and bring it on
’cause I don’t really know shit else and get confused on what to press
I even got wit blizzard and got Warcraft Battlechest
Sometimes I get a troll to axe a seal to watch it bleed
It’s like adrenaline, that is until the game locks up on me.
And when you rolled right over Real, man, I respect you cause you did it.
The linux folks are jealous — their uptime is 24/7
but they don’t know you like I do, Bill, no one does
they don’t know what it’s like for systems like ours booting up
You gotta write me, man. I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Dan — P.S.
I’m glad you beat up OS/2

Dear Mister-I’m-Too-Good-To-Fix-Or-Patch-My-Bugs,
this’ll be the last e-mail I ever send your ass
It’s been so long and Word’s still bork — I don’t deserve it?
I gotta upgrade to write letters?
I almost switched down to Wordperfect!
So this is my ogg file I’m sending you, I hope you hear it.
I’m running firefox on the information superhighway
Hey Bill, I clicked on Bonzi Buddy, will it install in my drive?
You know that song by Shawn Colvin, it’s called “Sunny Came Home”
about that girl who came home with a box of tools and said that
it’s time for a few small repairs — she came home with a vengeance?
That’s kinda how it is, I was one “rescue disk” from switching
Now it’s too late — I’m with a million penguins now and happy
and all I wanted was a lousy ack or a call
I hope you know I trashed ALL of your cd’s from my drawer.
I loved XP and IE together, think about it –
It’s ruined somehow, I hope you can’t boot and you dream about it
And when you boot, I hope you get spyware and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you for what you did with ME
See, man — what up, bitch? You’re nothin but talk.
Hey Bill, I ain’t buyin your marketing junk.
They didn’t find a goat, They just fixed the bug. See, they ain’t like you
’cause if you look away, we suffer more and we’ll upgrade, too!
Well, gotta go, my machine is so much better now.
Oh man, this is great — now my OS doesn’t crap out!

Dear Dan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said you found some bugs last year — that’s just really silly.
Look, I’m really flattered that you’d call your daughter that
and it’s not our fault about your brother
we didn’t install that spyware crap.
I’m sorry I don’t remember you at the show, I must’ve missed you
The free swag was there to make it up to you in case I dissed you.
And what’s that shit you said about you playing Blizzard games, foo?
Get your ass on Xbox Live, dogg
c’mon, how screwed up are you?
You’ve got some issues, Dan, I’ll forward them to marketing
To help your PC from bouncing packets off the wall when you have downtime
And we can go squash those Linux hippies together.
With SCO and SUN, man — we’ll all just chill and support each other.
I really think you need a girlfriend, man, at least someone to bother
Or maybe you just need to treat your OS better.
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that our products are just fine
if you relax a little. I’m trying to understand you, Dan,
why are you so mad? Try to understand I do want you as a fan
I just don’t want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one dude on the net a couple of weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was posting HOWTOs on the web and how he switched
From using Windows into Linux — and how we lost the Munich bid
And on the bottom it had a link, I forget — it was mailto:
Come to think of it, his name was…it was you
Damn!

I don’t want to be the one
That always has to lose
’cause I’m always left behind
Dejected and confused

A spear and magic helmet can’t –
Assault with shaving cream.
What else must I investigate
So I fulfill my dream?
I don’t care much for rabbit stew
I bet it tastes alright
But I’m
Killing the Rabbit
I’m Killing the Rabbit
Tonight

I’m not quite sure –
Locked in an oven door
I try to catch my breath again
Cops at the door,
“You might, rabbit, you might”
A match ignites the gas again.

I don’t want to be the one
That always has to lose
’cause I’m always left behind
Dejected and confused

A spear and magic helmet can’t –
Assault with shaving cream.
What else must I investigate
So I fulfill my dream?
I don’t care much for rabbit stew
I bet it tastes alright
But I’m
Killing the Rabbit
I’m Killing the Rabbit
Tonight

I’ll paint the tunnel walls
And drop a ten ton vault
Say “shoot me now” again
Not get shot in the end

I don’t know what I’m fighting for
And if it’s all a dream
But this here ain’t Yosemite
Ain’t rootin’ tootin’ mean.
I don’t know how it got this way,
The varmint has to die
So I’m killing the rabbit
I’m killing the rabbit
I’m kiwwing the wabbit
Tonight

The mate was a mighty selling man
The skipper wasn’t sure
Six passengers sat sail back then
For a legal language tour (a legal language tour)

The language started getting rough
The chrysler case was tossed (almost)
If not for the “courage” of the fearless crew
The lawsuits would be lost (the lawsuits would be lost)

The ship held ground on the shore of this
Old Mormon Desert Isle
With Billy Gates
And Ballmer too
Some millionaire
Named McBride
A Courtroom Star
McNealy and Canadians
Here on Darl McBride’s Isle

Little Gollum Pa rum pa pum pum
I am obsessive, too Pa rum pa pum pum
Your precious they will bring Pa rum pa pum pum
Volcano gets the ring Pa rum pa pum pum
Rum pa pum pum Rum pa pum pum
I shall cheer for you Pa rum pa pum pum
On my bum.

Highly lauded Pa rum pa pum pum
The Orcish Horde kept time Pa rum pa pum pum
Sat on my bum for hours Pa rum pa pum pum
Saw Gandalf’s magic powers Pa rum pa pum pum
Rum pa pum pum Rum pa pum pum
Closure, finally! Pa rum pa pum pum
Sat on my bum.

But you
Why you really want those Ducks around
Is it a surefire way to screw things up
‘Cause all it does is slow hockey down.

Shaken in their confidence
About a great many things
But I’ve seen them, they can see it coming
Like the nervous Selanne waiting on a wing
For a bad play during hockey night
But nobody thinks nor expects too much
Still, Hollywood’s calling for the D4 rights
Singing hey babe, let’s keep in touch
Hey baby, let’s keep in touch
But I want more than a touch, I want you to nail D
And knock them to the boards until they can’t see
So what they feel is just simply hell
And soon if we’re lucky all the Duck fans will yell
Your ass is mine, KILL NUMBER NINE
And it doesn’t have to rhyme so send your checking line

But you
Why you really want those Ducks around
Is it a surefire way to screw things up
‘Cause all it does is slow hockey down.

Tra la la bamba dear this is your pilot speaking
And I’ve got bad news for you
You see that Disney spews and you Duckies suck
And there ain’t a whole lot that you can do
Oh sure, the Panthers were swept and the Kings getting colder
Perhaps I’ve grown a little cynical
But I know no matter what the waitress brings
I shall drink it and always be full
Yeah I’ll drink it and always be full
Oh I like Coffey
But I hate Guy
But to be able to enter a final plea
I know they’ve got the playoffs that they cannot make
And Lord Stanley’s silverware that they cannot take

Well alright, okay
You think they can play
I hope and pray
You may be right someday

But you
Why you really want those Ducks around
Is it a surefire way to screw things up
‘Cause all it does is slow hockey down.

But you
Why you really want those Ducks around
Is it a surefire way to screw things up
‘Cause all it does is slow hockey down.