Quotes I DO NOT want to hear in the latest God of War game:
- “In the end, there will be only crayons”
- “Every beginning has an end, Kratos”
- “THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!”
- (wakes up from dream sequence as Fred from Accounting) “About those TPS reports…”
- “I’m sorry Kratos, but Zeus is in another castle”
Once a month, we do a refrigerator cleaning at work. This month, our department was drafted to do the cleaning and so I volunteered to write the e-mail to staff to let them know what day it will be done. This is what was sent…
Hello, everyone –
I hijacked the daily schedule mailing list for this important announcement:
From the creators of such cinematic classics as “The Traininator” and “Nurses With Wolves” comes a new compelling story starring YOUR FOOD. This action-adventure tale has everything you’ve come to love in our stories: watch with excitement as we explore the depths of the refrigerator for previously undiscovered life forms. Laugh as we attempt to identify unlabeled consumables. Cry as you find out that we just threw away something you forgot to label and date.
It is COMEDY, it is DRAMA, it arrives THIS FRIDAY, the 29th of January:
THE REFRIGERATOR CLEANING (working title)
(label and date your food in the fridge…is what we’re trying to say)
Hey there!
Just thought I’d stop by and say hello. I was listening to Tori Amos’ “Digital Ghost” and something clicked in my head to come in and check the place out. Quite apparent is that a lot of things have changed, but I do see bits and pieces of the familiar. We still have a few things in common.
The pen is different, but the fire is still there…so obviously, I’m not quite dead. Especially not today, old friend.
— Silence
A warm wind blew across the desert as a battle raged in the distance. I heard explosions along with faint muzzle flashes out there where my brothers fought. The communications radio brought many things — battle orders, a momentary celebration, a desperate call for a medic, a soldier calling out enemy positions. I got to take it all in from afar.
Through my scope I saw you setting an ambush. From behind cover you looked around. “They’re not here yet,” you must have thought to yourself. I saw a soldier, a warrior, a man with family and friends. I saw a loved-one’s picture in your pocket. I saw a common bond — a worn-out man longing for the comforts of home, longing for a warm meal, longing for peace.
In many ways, we were kindred, like others who had come before. We both had jobs to do, duties to perform, orders to follow. You sought to kill my brothers while I sought to protect them. I know it was more complex than that, that war is not black and white but shades of gray. We all have to live with the things we have seen and done. Well, at least I do. I saw your eyes widen when you heard the gunshot. It was an honor to have met you in combat.