My brave and loyal soldiers, children of  The Garden, the Marigolds are dead.  The Tomatoes have been slain.  Zucchini is no more.  We had been overrun and the battle had been lost.  During the fight, an assassin sent by Gaia herself had struck, and while I was fortunate to escape with my life, I sustained a crippling injury and was unable to lead you in battle.  In the end, Operation Pluck and Awe did not succeed.

This failure, MY failure should in no way diminish the glory of our winter warriors.  Brave Broccoli and Communist Cabbage fought valiantly against weeds and clovers, cold winds and freezing rain.  Their humble contributions to the altar of sacrifice will be remembered even as their bodies decay in the battlefield.  Injured and unable to fight, I helplessly watched as Gaia’s minions reclaimed territory.  I was forced to bear the sight as my soldiers were one by one claimed by death.

My brave warriors, THIS is Gaia’s folly.  Her soldiers should have slaughtered us all when given the opportunity.  Instead, they gave us time.  They gave us time to grieve, time to heal.  Their prideful mockery has only fueled our disdain.  Their victory had only strengthened our resolve.  This past Wednesday, a day that shall forever be remembered in The Garden, a knight named Mago, Vanquisher of Possums, single-handedly conquered Gaia’s forces.  In the wake of this destruction and carnage, we have been given back what is rightfully ours.

With the land once again under our control, we will recover for I, your leader, have returned to the throne of power.  In memory of the glorious dead, those who have come before, those who had paid the ultimate sacrifice, we shall rebuild.  For honor, glory, and righteous vengeance we shall rebuild.  For ourselves and for our brothers and sisters who stand beside us in this dark time, we shall rebuild.  The dawn of a new season favors us.  My fellow warriors, let us rise triumphantly from the ground and claim the victory that fate has promised for ourselves and for The Garden!

My fellow citizens of The Garden, we have endured the treachery and oppression of Gaia and her troops for far too long. We shall never forget the Winter of Season One when her troops invaded our territory and killed our plants. We shall never forget Basil who heroically gave of himself even up to the point when the enemy had him in their choking grasp. We remember the two innocent Bell Pepper seedlings who were killed long before they could have fruitful lives. We remember the survivors of the attacks who are forever scarred by the memories of those events.

As we vow never to forget the harm Gaia and her troops have done in the past, we also vow to have a more watchful eye on our enemies. For the past few months, we have tried to live in symbiotic peace. Even as we watched each day as her weeds and tall grasses tried to infiltrate our ranks, we tried to find diplomatic solutions to our differences.

Citizens of The Garden, after an extensive and painful study by my allergist, we have determined that while we were trying to find peaceful co-existence with Gaia, she had been developing biochemical weapons with the clear intent of using it against us. With this information, I, as your General, have decided that the time for diplomacy has passed and that the time for action is now.

Earlier this morning, I had ordered the troops to conduct Operation Pluck and Awe — a preemptive incursion into Gaia’s territory with the clear mission of destroying any and all strategic military targets she may have. Though our troops face large concentrations of allergens along with the possible threat of ants, spiders, and unidentified bugs, I am confident that we shall be victorious.

The Garden [RTS] is once again at war. It is a war we did not choose to have, but a war we nonetheless shall win. May The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodley Appendage bless you, and may The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodley Appendage bless The Garden.

I have come to the conclusion that In The Garden, Harvest is not a given day. It is not a single time designated for swinging a reaper’s scythe against unwilling crops; it is not the imagery of one final moment spent gathering everything and separating wheat from chaff. Since flowers bloom and fruits ripen at different rates, Harvest is about gathering what is ready and patiently waiting for those who need more time. With pruning shears, I am The Garden’s Atropos.

Many tomatoes have been harvested from the vine with many more to come from Clotho’s spool. Lachesis has been generous in measuring the few zucchini that attained the ultimate glory in the sacrificial fires of the summer season. The Fates have shown mercy but it is clear that they do not hold me in their favor. As battle continues, my consolation is that the troops and I are still able to fight, even as the gods conspire against us.

Having been deprived of the Greek gods’ full cooperation, I sought the gardening wisdom of the Roman Goddess Pomona. I came as a gardener to seek her sympathy and she ignored me. I came as a warrior to gain her trust through prestige and she turned away. Finally, I came as myself and she agreed to help. With Helios’ Solar Gaze feeling more like a Wrathful Stare, I hope the newfound alliance brings aid.

The Tomatoes are doing well and require more pruning. The Zucchini may also be growing too quickly for their own good. The Peppers are slowly ripening. Bell Pepper from Season One has two fruits growing. Basil is flourishing and is stubbornly trying to flower. Rosemary continues its fragrant growth. The Chives have doubled in size in the partial sun. Lettuce seeds gathered and sown have sprouted seedlings. Even the Marigolds are continuing to flower.

The Garden continues to grow. The soldiers show great fervor, proving that they are indeed ready for combat. The General, however, sees what his troops do not yet see. He sees Gaia’s army forming ranks. He knows that soon, Helios will show no mercy. To him, the upcoming battle’s outcome is yet uncertain, but one thing is clear: courage and perseverance will lead to a glorious victory.

The troops have gained strength. Perhaps they have gained too much strength. The Garden is quickly transforming into a jungle with tomato vines growing defiantly out of control and zucchini leaves at the end of hollow stems stretching out beyond their barracks.

The General was faced with the classic philosophical question posed upon any virtuous leader: Which is better, to be loved or feared? As Machiavelli once wrote, while being both would be most desirable, if one must choose, the virtuous leader should choose being feared.

With the aid of pruning shears, the benevolent General attempted to strike a balance between discipline and harm. At times, young fruits had been lost and vines had been bent. While the General grieved each loss, he understood that ultimate success demanded that order and discipline be maintained.

Since the season started, a total of five zucchini have been harvested. A larger number had died before their time. Tomatoes have not yet ripened, but are ever so slowly changing color as the days go by. Basil had been aggressively pruned, yielding a large jar of a potable potion vaguely resembling pesto. Though delighted at the harvest, the General wished he invested more skill points into potion mastery.

Having unexpectedly gained skill points in necromancy, the General’s undead troops from season one continued to display growth. Season one’s tomato actually required a well-placed stake to encourage proper behavior. Although the first bell pepper fruit never did grow to maturity, the plant seems to continue producing flowers.

Six spicy but currently unidentified peppers have joined the ranks in The Garden. They came as a team with different personalities and a group photo for an ID. A few have shown fruit, but not enough to properly identify them from the photograph.

Helios has continued to gain strength while Gaia weakens. Though both situations were anticipated, the General was surprised by the number of times he has had to cast Poseidon’s Aid to combat the increased effects of Solar Gaze.

At this time, The Garden is green. The troops are filled with potential and zeal. Harvest seems closer. The General is cautiously hopeful.

At the beginning of season two, the returning cast surprised me with their determination to survive. Even more surprising at this point is that the bell pepper is attempting to bear fruit. Too small and undeveloped for harvest, it has yet to meet its potential. Tomato from season one has also flowered, but no fruit as of yet. However, the mere act of trying to be effective in combat even after sustaining what could be considered life-threatening injuries makes me proud to have bell pepper and tomato as warriors loyal to my cause.

I have harvested from basil and rosemary numerous times, gaining decent XP and HP. The strategic placement of wood mulch proved to be a misguided error as a swarm of fungus gnats have set up camp right at the base of both plants. Attacks with insecticidal soap have thinned their numbers but it appears that the insects are heavily entrenched and that I may have to resort to higher levels of biological warfare if I want to win the war.

With Helios’ influence growing stronger, the new recruits for season two seem to thrive with his aid. The zucchinis which were started from seed have now flowered. Using hand-pollinating techniques gleaned from seeking and reading scrolls, at least one more zucchini is ready for harvest.

The tomatoes from season two have also shown promising developments. Each of them appears to have at least one fruit in the process of growth. While momentary triumph seems imminent, I constantly remind myself that a crucial mistake on my part or any unprovoked attacks from either Helios or Gaia can easily swing the tide of battle. A bountiful harvest is in no way assured.

As Helios’ “Solar Gaze” seems to have leveled up, much to the delight of most of my soldiers, it has left bibb lettuce wanting cooler climes. While two of the six were successfully sacrificed for the greater glory of the cause, providing for a week or so worth of salad greens and contributing to both XP and HP, the four that were left behind are not in good shape. Torn up by insects and unable to withstand the powered up Solar Gaze spells, their future seems more grim than the fruiting plants.

An experiment with chives has yielded mixed results. The seeds have sprouted but the seedlings have not manifested enough strength and growth to merit transplanting. A batch of bell pepper seeds have yet to break ground and reach for the skies. It was my hope that these bell peppers would have grown enough to transplant into a waiting row by now. It seems the row will have to stay empty for a bit longer.

A few months into season two and The Garden seems well. While there have been a few setbacks and some battles yet to be won, the troops are strong and the promise of a good harvest seems so close. I hope that the soldiers continue to react positively to Solar Gaze. I know Helios will only grow stronger as the season progresses.

The marigolds seem to be doing alright but I may have placed them too far from the effective range of their mythical insect-repelling capabilities. As such, they stand watch for Gaia’s advance. Reports from the front lines have indicated that her troops are getting weaker…